beginning of the end

Thank you so, so much to everyone who donated to the Education for Liberation library project. Our fundraising efforts exceeded my wildest hopes and dreams. Because of your donations, the students of Endagaw will be able to study out of textbooks for the first time ever. It’s magical.

I guess I’ve been avoiding writing this month’s blog entry because I’m not ready to start talking about the end. There’s no denying it, I’ve hit the two years mark and I booked a one-way plane ticket to Dakar, the first stop on my upcoming West African adventure. On July 28^th, I am leaving Tanzania for the foreseeable future. My last month as a Peace Corps Volunteer starts now.

How do I begin to describe what this feels like? I’m spinning in emotional circles. Sometimes I look back over the past two years and wonder what superhero has been living my life. More often, I feel like a fraud in a gaudy cape. I spend hours just thinking about all the things I could have done differently, better, more sustainably. Sometimes I look at villagers whose names I don’t even know and see best friends I could have made if I just gave them a chance. I look at problems in the village with experienced eyes and simple solutions suddenly come to me-- projects that will never be.  

I know it’s pointless to think that way. Of course I have regrets, but I’ll learn from them, and my life will be better for it. I’ve already seen that happen in this most recently library project. I really feel like I’m doing it right this time. It’s a good feeling.

My computer battery’s dying so I can’t write more, but I just wanted to drop a note so everyone knows I’m alive and busily putting your donations to work.