Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Kusema "kwa heri" (Saying goodbye)

Two months ago, I was dropped off at a burnt orange hut dwarfed by coconut trees in the picturesque village of Kibaoni. As the village kids crowded around me and stared, Baba gave me an orange peeled in the Tanzanian fashion. I had no idea how to eat it. I felt myself start to tear up as I stared at this fruit that was simultaneously so familiar and so, so foreign.

Flash forward two months. Last night Mama challenged me to peel an orange, TZ style, with a single knife stroke. When I succeeded, she grabbed my hand and she exclaimed, “You are Tanzanian.” Then we sang the Tanzanian national anthem together. Seriously.

I sat with Mama for several hours last night as she cooked dinner on the fire. She asked why I was being so quiet and I said I was sad to leave and scared to live without her. She said, “You’ll get used to it.” and continued to give me a pep talk about what a great Volunteer I’ll be and how she’s sure I’ll be ok because I am able to cook ugali. Then she teared up a little bit as she complimented me some more about how fat I've gotten. I seriously have no idea what I'm going to do without her.

Our goodbye this morning went like this: "My child! I will remember you so much! I have gotten so used to you." "Mama! I will call you and I will say, 'Help! how do you cook Ugali?" "You lie! You already know how to cook ugali! You are so ready." (We both start crying.)

Training is now over. Having passed the Swahili exam and proven myself to have enough common sense to not be a danger to US interests abroad, tomorrow I will be sworn in as a Peace Corps Volunteer. I have yet again packed up everything I own and am leaving the place that has truly begun to feel like home.

My last week at homestay was amazing. Ramadan started on Tuesday, and I decided to join my family in fasting during daylight hours. In a weird way, I think it was the most important decision I’ve made since coming here. It‘s hard to explain why exactly I decided to fast, but it was mostly an impulsive response to the sudden realization that I have a limited number of hours left to spend with my host family. The family will keep fasting for the next 30 days, but I'm waiting till I get to my site to decide if I'm going to keep it up. I think it might be a good way to help with the integration process, as my new community has a large muslim population as well. Ramadan with my host family was a lot of fun. We fasted all day and then ate a gigantic and incredibly delicious meal at 6:30. Then we hung out for a bit, cooked some more, went to bed early, and woke up at 2 or 3am to eat again.

A few days ago she explained to me the purpose of fasting during Ramadan. From the every-third-word I understood, it sounds a lot like Yom Kippur--repentance, purification, all that good stuff. Today I told her that I am fasting because people from my religion (she’s still not sure what Jews are, but she gets that I’m something other than Muslim or Christian) have a holiday that is like a one-day Ramadan, but I don’t like to celebrate it alone. I’ve been bumming a bit about the fact that I’m the only Jew in my training class--I’m not religious in the “pray to God on a regular basis” (or really ever) kind of way, but after spending nine summers at Tamarack, four years in BBYO, and countless hours in Temple Israel’s youth choir, Judaism played a role in many of my best memories. Jewish rituals have so many warm-fuzzy associations, but for me, practicing religion has never been about connecting to an external deity -- I practice Judaism as a way to connect to my community. Here in Tanzania, my community is Muslim. So ramadan it is.

I have to wrap up now... time for dinner and then my last night as a trainee--tomorrow I become a real volunteer! wooooooohoo. I'll be getting to my site sometime between the 19th and 21st... still not sure on the specifics there. I have my super safi new cell phone and would love to hear from anyone. My number is ** EDIT: cuontry code is 255, not 855!!** 255-782-496-513. You can call from skype for pretty cheap. My birthday is September 10th... Tanzanians aren't really into birthdays, most of them have to think really hard when you ask how hold they are... so you know, hint hint...